The Last of Us (PlayStation 3)

I’ve gone back and forth trying to decide how I wanted to handle this review. The Last of Us released this past Friday, and of course, it was a hugely anticipated PS3 exclusive. Reviews from the larger Metacritic outlets went up weeks ago, and so by now people who may have been on the fence before will have seen dozens and dozens of all positive reviews and have likely purchased the game. So with that said, I’m going to do something different with this review; I’m going to talk spoilers. Don’t run off yet if you haven’t finished the game though. First, I’m going to do a quick non-spoiler review consisting of a few paragraphs and then give the score. Underneath the score though, tons and tons of spoiler talk so do come back when you finish the game and finish reading it. This is one instance where I welcome spoiler talk in the comments, so I’d avoid reading any comments if you haven’t finished the game.

What Naughty Dog has constructed is nothing short of remarkable. The PS3 may still have some heavy hitters in its lifespan, but The Last of Us is definitely the swan song for the platform. Naughty Dog, known for developing three of the best-looking games (the Uncharted series) on a console, totally pushed the aging PS3 to its absolute limit. The lighting and attention to detail in this game is impressive. Many games have utilized flashlights, but I would argue none has been as successful as this one. The shadows, the reflections, and the way it all changes dynamically help make The Last of Us the best looking console game of the generation.

We’ve seen a ton of great games this console generation. Some had great stories, some had great dialogue and voice acting, some had great environments, and some just had great gameplay that made everything else easy to ignore because the game was so much fun. I would say no game this generation, save for perhaps Uncharted 2, Red Dead Redemption, and BioShock Infinite, nailed so many different categories as The Last of Us does. There is no such thing as a perfect game, and as such I don’t even know what a perfect game would be like, but this comes as close as anything I can think of.

The story and pacing of the story is fantastic. The dialogue is believable and is a key part that makes the story so good, and it’s made even better by probably the best voice acting in a game to date. The atmosphere is breathtaking and tense; never has a scary world been so beautiful. There are parts in this game where I just had to put the controller down and admire the environment, especially at one point near the end of the game. The gameplay itself is even superb.

Set in a post-apocalyptic United States, The Last of Us is probably the most human a video game has ever been. Sure, society has collapsed because of a fungus (inspired by cordyceps) that has left many humans turned into monsters known as “infected.” You’ll encounter many infected on your trip across the US, and just hearing one of the “Clickers” (as they third stage of infected are known as) is pretty scary (I highly recommend playing the game at night, with the lights off, and while wearing headphones so you hear everything). However, the other human survivors turn out to be the even bigger monsters.

That’s unfortunately what would (will) actually happen once society collapses. Survival will kick in and people will start doing whatever it takes to survive; if that means shooting at you own sight or trying to bash your skull in so be it. It becomes a kill or be killed world, and in The Last of Us you’re going to find yourself in situations where you will have to realistically and brutally murder someone. The bad guys in say one of Nathan Drake’s adventures all seem generic, and so it is easy to run around killing hundreds of them while Drake makes some wise crack like it’s nothing, but here it is a lot different. The human enemies are smart, and within their group, they care for one another. They talk to one another and coordinate their search for supplies, and when it comes to fighting they will try to flank you, try to double team you, or they may get scared and try to retreat and come back with a different approach (all the others the human player would do). Killing these guys is hard, and I don’t mean it is hard to take them down; I mean killing them seems wrong, but it is justified and ultimately necessary because they’re going to kill you if you don’t (unless you manage to totally avoid them, which is possible in some areas).

Remember that spot at the end E3 2012 on-stage demo where Joel entered the room and got into a melee attack with another survivor? That guy ended up on the floor with Joel pointing his gun at him, and he begged for his life. That’s in the game, and totally not a scripted sequence and any enemy can do it. It’s powerful, and several times it happened and I wanted to let the enemy live because of it. Of course if you wait too long though, they’ll just try to get up and attack you again, so it’s best to just go ahead and finish them off.

I know, “fantastic” and “superb” have been devalued and used to overpraise games, but throughout my time playing this game and after completing it and starting a new run through, those are the two words that keep coming back to me. I’d toss in “awesome” as well. The game does so much right that it is easy to totally ignore the couple of flaws the game does have (namely instances where you have to shoot your way out of a mess).

Red Dead Redemption has been my favorite game of the generation; in fact it even eclipsed Knights of the Old Republic in becoming my favorite game of all time. It’s been three years, but something has finally surpassed Red Dead Redemption to me and have no doubts proclaiming this game to be my new favorite.

Obviously, I give this game the full four stars and highly recommend it to everyone. Buying a PS3 is worth it to play this game. It’s that good.

!*!SPOILER TIME!*!

****Do not read if you have not finished the game and have a desire to do so. Last warning.****

!*!SPOILER TIME!*!

This game brings the emotion right from the very beginning. I did not expect to start the game off at the beginning of the outbreak; it was a pleasant surprise. The fact that the player’s first interaction with the game is controlling Joel’s teenage daughter was also very cool. Never has a character been so likeable so fast as Sarah was. I, and I would have to imagine everyone, knew after seeing her on the couch that first time that she was going to die. She’s simply not Ellie. With that said, it didn’t make her death any less impactful. If you weren’t sad when Sarah died then you are a stone. Her death was the big reminder that this was going to be a game you were probably going to enjoy experiencing, but wouldn’t necessarily be “fun.”

Indeed, there is little actual fun to be had during the 15+ hours of the games campaign. Violence in video games can obviously be fun, and there’s nothing wrong with that. If you want to virtually murder people in all sorts of hilarious ways, then a game like Saints Row is totally fun. There’s nothing serious about it and there is no reason to care about any characters in the game; it’s just a sandbox to go wild in. This game is the exact opposite of that, and indeed most violent shooters. The violence here actually seems necessary and realistic, which makes it not fun in the traditional sense.

It’s one thing to brutally kill the infected, after all they are essentially monster zombies and whatever person they used to be is dead. It’s the brutal killing of other human survivors that sticks with you.

Of course you don’t have much of a choice in that regard. This is a kill or be killed world, and that in a way makes it easier. If a human enemy sees you, then its main goal from that point on is going to be to kill you. In that way, it’s just like every other video game. What separates the violence in The Last of Us from other games though isn’t just the realistic brutality of it, but also in the behavior of the enemies.

Before you are spotted, it’s a treat just to listen to the enemies talk to each other. These are characters just like you; they’re largely doing what they have to do to survive. You may kill a group of people, but that group of people might not be doing anything except looking for supplies themselves.  It helps to make them seem real, which in return makes it not so fun when you brutally bash their skull in with a baseball bat.

At one point, I grabbed a human enemy and held him hostage. One of his friends yelled out “Oh shit!” That character, and another one, approached me with their guns pointed at me. “Take it easy man,” one said. I aimed my gun at one of them, and he ran back a brief distance to a car and took cover. The other stood there while I pointed my gun at him. For a moment, there I stood with a hostage and my gun aimed at a dude’s head and he had a gun aimed at mine. Now I knew I could not hold the guy hostage much longer, so I did the only thing that made sense at that time: I shot the guy in the head and pistol-whipped the hostage and quickly took cover. At this point, I had two bullets left total and no melee weapon.  I was in a standoff with the other guy for at least four minutes before I was able to maneuver myself around enough cars to get close enough to the guy to try and throw a few punches and then smash his head into a car. It worked, but barely.

Part of the beauty with this game is that that kind of stuff doesn’t have to happen and is random. I’ve played that area again on my Survivor play-through, and I left these three guys alone and they eventually left to go look for their buddies (who I hadn’t been long slaughtered, but they did ambush me). They never knew I was there. In fact, I actually felt kinda bad for having killed those three during my first playthrough because it was unnecessary. This game works on that level, and I think that is an amazing thing.

To that end, it’s amazing the impact the game can have on you. Watching the relationship between Joel and Ellie grow felt natural, and thus it was special. I don’t usually care about video game characters, but both of them grew on me, especially Ellie. When they first met, Joel was cold to Ellie. He obviously didn’t care for her, and she wasn’t that fond of him. This is how it would be for real. But then they spent every day together for almost a year and they saw and did some awful stuff and eventually Joel becomes the father-figure for Ellie. It worked so well that by extension your primary goal while playing the game is to protect Ellie the way a father would, or should, protect a daughter.

The Winter section of this game is where it really all clicked, at least for me. Joel had been injured, and suddenly you’re playing as 14-year-old Ellie hunting for food in the snow. Then you come across two survivors looking for food because they have a camp of survivors including women and children. This is led by the character David (voiced by Nathan Drake himself, Nolan North). David seems nice enough, and as Ellie you battle a tense couple of waves of infected while trapped in small spaces. After killing all of the infected in the area, you sit down with David and he tells he believes everything happens for a reason and he can prove it.

“This winter has been especially cruel. A few weeks back, I ah, sent a group of men out to nearby town to look for food. Only a few came back. They said that the others had been ah, slaughtered by a crazy man. And get this. He’s a crazy man travelling with a little girl (he says it while pointing his knife at Ellie). You see, everything happens for a reason.”

And with that, the most tense level I have ever seen in a video game gets underway. Ellie escapes back to Joel, but she’s been tracked. She decides to lead the men after her away from Joel, so she jumps on their horse and rides away; dodging bullets and enemies, and even fighting enemies off as they try to grab her on the horse.  When the horse gets shot, you have to go on foot and I was armed with nothing but a knife, a pistol, and a bow.

It’s during this entire section that you really see how Ellie is the most awesome character in the game. While you’re playing as Joel, Ellie seems like a great companion. She’s following you, but she’s doing her own thing. She’s making jokes, teaching herself to whistle, scavenging for supplies, and commenting on all the bad stuff happening around her. But when you take control of Ellie in this section, you see that you’ve sort of trained her. Ellie is relentless and brutal. Where Joel would be choking guys out, Ellie wildly jumps on their back and repeatedly stabs them. When alone and surrounded by dozens of men who want to kill her, Ellie becomes a wild, almost feral, killing machine.

My best job at being stealthy came while playing as Ellie. I didn’t want to see her die because I did something stupid and lost some patience. The section took a while, but I totally stealthed her entire level, and it was perhaps the most rewarding level in a game. As Ellie, I was deadly with the bow; took down enemies from a far with headshot after headshot, even on moving targets. I slowly crouch-walked my way to their bodies and reclaimed my arrows. After a while, I didn’t feel like Ellie was the hunted, but instead she was the hunter. I used the heavy snow to my advantage, slowly walking around to pick off target after target. Arrows were flying, and none were taken in the knee. Bottles were thrown to lure people in, and then they were promptly stabbed repeatedly in the neck. Watching, and controlling, Ellie in action is a sight to behold.

Then I came upon a restaurant, and David entered it. This equated to basically a boss fight, and it is easily the most tense and scariest section of the game. Here you are as a 14-year-old girl armed with a knife, trapped in a burning restaurant with a grown man armed with a gun and a machete who wants to kill you. This whole thing is cat and mouse, and it is completely heart pounding. Once you manage to get away from David, it’s hard to know where he is at. That not knowing is brutal. Getting caught by him and watching Ellie die is even more brutal.

Now I’m a 27-year-old male, but I would say Naughty Dog completely nailed the feeling of being a 14-year-old girl trapped in this situation. A smart 14-year-old girl who is a killing machine at that. The whole battle here is slow and methodical and requires great stealth, and some headphones to really be able to hear. And as far as video games can be, it’s scary as hell. Once you sneak up on David and stab him for the third time and trigger the cutscene to end the battle, you will feel like a total badass who just accomplished something. And relief, sweet relief. And when it is over, you’ll truly realize just how awesome this game is because it is vastly unique to anything else outthere. Naughty Dog has created something truly special here.

Speaking of special, when you’re in Salt Lake City and you come out of the building and see and pet the giraffe, that is a special feeling. Go just a little further and then stand against the edge of the building next to Ellie, and you really get to see the most beautiful setting in a video game. There are mountains in the distance, buildings being overrun by nature, and several giraffes walking and grazing peacefully. By this point, Joel and Ellie are near the end of their adventure, and the bond between them has grown. Joel, the rugged survivor who hasn’t really cared about anything but surviving since the death of his daughter, now has a deep affection for Ellie and something to care about beyond surviving. Likewise, Ellie has found in Joel something she has never had; a father-figure, or anyone, that she knows will not abandon her. Standing side-by-side admiring the scenery, things almost feel normal in the destroyed city.

So, now is a good time to talk about the ending and how I go there. Finding the Fireflies wasn’t all it was made out to be; these people are no better than the government and soldiers, and no better than the hunters. You’re task from the moment you encounter Ellie has been to bring her to the Fireflies; she is immune from the infected and could be the means for a cure, or rather a vaccine. I was like Joel when he found out that the doctors would need to kill and dissect Ellie… hell no, that’s not happening.

Breaking away from the soldiers and making your way to the operating room was probably the most difficult section of the game. These soldiers are well armored, and there are many of them. You don’t stand a chance by trying to take them on in combat, and anyone who tries to play this game like it is Uncharted will repeatedly fail here (of course they probably wouldn’t make it this far anyway). You have to sneak and be slow. This goes against everything you want to do. Obviously there is no time limit, but you still have the sense that you need to hurry up and reach Ellie to save her, and that can cause you not to be as patient as the level requires.

I haven’t gotten back to this section yet in my Survivor playthrough, but when I busted through the OR door and saw the doctor and the two nurses, and Ellie on the operating table, I immediately put a bullet in the head of all three. I didn’t take the time to listen to them beg for their lives, or to even look around. I didn’t even consider what would come next and if I would need those three bullets; it was just an immediate reaction that, at the time, felt right for what they were going to do to Ellie.

The end itself really bookends the entire game nicely. You began the game playing as Joel’s young daughter Sarah. A few minutes later, Joel was carrying Sarah trying to get her to safety. An idiot soldier listened to his orders and shot, and thus killed Sarah. You end the game by carrying Ellie out of the operating room trying to get her to safety while soldiers have their guns pointed at you. The predictable ending at this point would have been Ellie getting killed in the same fashion as Sarah, or even Joel getting cared. I had to make myself watch, because that is what I expected and I didn’t want to see it.

Instead, the last bit of the game shows you what happened (Joel killed Marlene because he knew she’d come after Ellie) and you once again control Ellie. You simply follow Joel, and he finally opens up about Sarah and how he thinks Ellie would have liked her, how he knows Sarah would like her, and how he thinks the two of them would have been great friends. It was touching. And then Ellie tells Joel of her roommate and friend who was bit at the same time she was, and how she died. Ellie has been waiting for her time, and wanted Joel to swear that everything he said about the Fireflies were true (that many people were immune and they hadn’t been able to find a cure and haven given up). Joel lies and swears, and the game ends with Ellie saying “Okay.”

Was it a happy ending? For some, maybe. For others probably not. I fall somewhere in the middle. Did Joel do the right thing by saving Ellie and not letting her be killed for a chance to find a vaccine, and thus dooming many? Absolutely. There’s no guarantee a vaccine would have been created from Ellie, in fact it seems unlikely. Joel risked death to save Ellie, and in the process of their journey, Joel regained some of the humanity he had lost over the past 20 years.

The world at this point is beyond a vaccine because the problem isn’t so much the infected, it is the other survivors. Scary as they are, the infected don’t seem like such a big threat in the grand scheme of things when compared to the monsters viciously gunning down folks in the hopes that they have something one them worth taking, or even chopping people up and using them for food.

Humanity isn’t going be saved, and society restored because of a vaccine that came at the expense of a young girls life. The Fireflies would continue to kill whoever disagreed with them and would be every bit the dictatorship the government in Boston was. The best chance for society to regain what it had lost comes from the people like Tommy, Joel’s brother. The survivors who have banded together to try and rebuild small communities based on relationships and caring. The bonds like we saw between Joel and Ellie.

It is a happy ending in the sense that both Joel and Ellie survived, and will make their way back to Tommy’s camp. Some would say it isn’t a happy ending because Joel lied to Ellie and their relationship will suffer because of it. But I would say Ellie knows Joel lied to her, and is okay with it. Because at that point she knows Joel isn’t going to abandon her or allow anything to happen to her, and that’s what she has always wanted.

There are tons of touching moments throughout this game, some everyone who plays the game will see, and others that can be missed. If the game doesn’t move you in some way, then again you are a stone. The game is full of emotions, and that is a great thing for a game to have.

I love the Uncharted games, but I know how I play the game and how you play the game is largely going to be the same. Nathan Drake is one of my favorite characters, but I’ve never connected with Drake. We’ll all have the same experience playing as Drake, but how I played as Joel and Ellie in this could be vastly different from what you reading this did. I love that, and it helps connect me to the character.

In closing, The Last of Us is simply an amazing experience. Earlier this year I said BioShock Infinite would have to be high on the Game of the Year list, and indeed, it will be high… maybe second best. I don’t see anything topping The Last of Us this year. Infact, if you look at all the games released this generation, I can’t think of one that tops it (not Uncharted 2, Red Dead Redemption, Portal 2, or Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood… nothing that I’ve played has been this good in every possible category for me).

If I didn’t already have a PS4 pre-ordered, or even if I had no previous thoughts to purchasing one, I would get one just so I could have the pleasure of playing whatever Naughty Dog is developing for it. Through three console generations, Naughty Dog has put great games that have been defining games for the PlayStation consoles (the Crash Bandicoot series on PSone, Jak and Daxter on PS2, and Uncharted and this on PS3.) I would say there simply isn’t a better developing studio going today than Naughty Dog. So congrats to the men and women who worked on this game; it’s the best game Naughty Dog has ever made, even more of a masterpiece than Uncharted 2 is.

Publisher: Capcom

Developer: Dontnod Entertainment

Genre(s): Third Person Action-Adventure

Released: June 4, 2013

ESRB Rating: M-Mature

Hello once again and welcome back to The Backlog, your one and only source for reviews of games that are keeping me from attempting to catch up on my Wall of Shame. Today we’re going to be taking a look at Remember Me, a third-person action-adventure offering from the folks at Dontnod Entertainment and Capcom.

When I first heard about this game, I was intrigued, but I didn’t get my expectations very high. Perhaps that worked to my advantage, but regardless, this was a quality offering and I thoroughly enjoyed my time with this game, and I look forward to getting back to it down the line somewhere. So with that said, let’s get down to some specifics.

Graphics:

Anyone that has followed my series of reviews for more than two or three has probably realized by now that I’m not overly sophisticated when it comes to certain aspects, and describing graphics is one of those aspects. Don’t worry, I’m not going to deviate from that path, but I can’t emphasize enough how great this game looks. It is not at the level of The Last of Us, and I don’t think it tried to be, but it is way more than adequate to say the least.

The cinematic scenes look terrific, and the game play sequences are not far behind that. Then you check out the back of the box and realize the video output maxes out at 720p and it makes it more impressive. Definitely a big plus when my expectations weren’t very high to begin with.

Audio:

Audio gets the job done. My several hours of playing and exploring did not expose me to anything that knocked my socks off, but there is a good amount of communication between our main character and some other characters, and it is solidly written and performed in my opinion. It moves the story along nicely. I wish I could say there was some musical score that blew me away, but again, no. Everything just blended together with the game, which is a good thing in this case.

Story:

The story of Remember Me takes place in Neo-Paris in 2084. It’s an interesting time, and memories can now be downloaded and implanted into your brain. Sound familiar? Probably does if you’ve seen Total Recall. And much like in the movie, the goal is to take down the evil corporation in charge.

In this case, that corporation is Memorize, fitting name, and almost everyone is equipped with a Sensation Engine, commonly referred to as Sensen that is utilized for implanting or sharing memories, as well as removing bad memories. As you might imagine, this gives Memorize access to just about everyone, allowing them to create a nationwide surveillance state…wait, am I talking about a video game or Verizon?

Anyway, the story begins with our heroine, Nilin, having her memory wiped at a Memorize facility. Nilin is a member of the Errorist rebel group. After her memory was wiped, Nilin is contacted by Edge, the leader of the Errorists. Edge guides Nilin’s escape by creating a diversion and opening a huge blast door. Nilin doesn’t remember anything, memory wipe and all, and is quite disoriented, but manages to stumble her way out of the building thanks to Edge’s assistance.

After learning some combat basics, we take Nilin through the slums of Neo-Paris to meet up with a fellow Errorist member, and of course more and more hell starts to break loose. But, without that, the game would be boring and wouldn’t progress the story as well.

Gameplay:

The combat in Remember is basically a lot of button mashing. Combos are put together using Pressens. Pressens are unlocked by gaining PMPs, which is gained by defeating enemies. Pressens can be put together to increase damage, regain health, chaining attacks, and speeding up the cool down process. I’m being overly simplistic for times sake, because if I explained it throughly, I would probably make it sound more complicated than it really is.

The most fun aspect of the game, at least in my opinion, are the memory remixes. Basically, Nilin taps into someone’s Sensen, accesses and views a memory. After viewing the memory, you can rewind and there are certain points where you can alter actions in the memory. You have to keep doing this until you reach a desired outcome. Sadly, I feel like this isn’t utilized enough, but at the same time, I can see how it is something that would need to be kept limited for the purposes of the story.

The Good:

Graphics and story are the high points. Probably high points since I wasn’t expecting greatness from this game going in, so anything better than ‘ehh’ was going to be a plus. Just goes to show that lowered expectations don’t always mean low results.

The Bad:

Nothing really bad. As I said earlier, I feel like the memory remix segments will be limited throughout the game, although I know they’re limited for a reason and are used at key points to progress the story though. All the same though, would be nice if there were more. Combat was primarily button mashing, which in and of itself there is nothing wrong with, but it seemed a little unsophisticated when compared to the story of the game. Also, one final nitpick, at times while climbing pipes and ledges on buildings, it’s tough to spot the next ledge to jump to. That got a little annoying at times, but it wasn’t too bad.

Official Score:

To recap, we have a game that is a pleasant surprise with good graphics and a good story. Not a whole lot of bad, just a couple nitpick items. All told, I was expecting a middle of the road game here, and I got more than that. While it was a pleasant surprise, it’s not a perfect or even quite a 4 star game. With that in mind, I have to go with 3 out of 4 stars.

Well that’s going to do it for today. Gary should be back tomorrow or Tuesday with a review for The Last of Us, so be sure to check back for that. The release schedule is light until July for me, so I’ll have a couple weeks to get back to the Wall of Shame before I get anything new. So until we do this again, Game On folks.

Starring: Jason Statham, Catherine Chan, Chris Sarandon, Reggie Lee
Director: Boaz Yakin
Writer(s): Boaz Yakin
Studio: Lionsgate
Runtime: 95 minutes
Rated: R
Official Score: 3 stars

As part of a new reviewing strategy I have bolded and underline the parts of this review that I feel are the most important to read, so if you’d just prefer the one minute version of my thoughts here, feel free to scroll down at your leisure.

Mei (Catherine Chan) is a very gifted child to say the absolute least, as we learn right at the very start of this movie. She is startlingly brilliant at math and has the ability to memorize long sequences of numbers with very little time or effort on her part. This makes her an incredibly desirable asset and a target for the Chinese Triads who control the neighborhood that she lives in, as they can basically use her like their own little personal computer, without the hassle of worrying about anyone else hacking into their system and meddling around in their business. So after kidnapping her mother and threatening to do vile and unspeakable things to her, they finally get the leverage they need to make Mei do as she’s told and act as their own personal number cruncher. And with that it’s goodbye China and hello New York City, where they quickly put her to work keeping track of their many numbers based rackets and assorted illegal goings on.

Elsewhere in the Big Apple we have Luke Wright (Jason Statham), a former cop, and current low level cage fighter, who makes the mistake of winning a rigged fight he was supposed to lose. As punishment for his mistake here the Russian mafia, who organized the fight, see fit to murder his pregnant wife while he watches on helplessly, and then have Luke shadowed for months afterward, basically making his life a living hell, and quickly murdering anyone he even momentarily makes any kind of social contact with, aside from the most basic of exchanges such as buying a hot dog or a Newspaper etc… An example of this is shown while he spends the night in a homeless shelter, and taking pity on the poor guy with badly cut up feet in the bed next to him, gives him the very shoes off of his feet, only to wake up the next morning to find said person with their throat cut from ear to ear. At this point I could just hear the little old lady in Blazing Saddles sarcastically saying “Oh have you ever seen such cruelty?” So needless to say, both Luke and Mei find themselves dealing with some very sick and evil bastards here.

Frank Martin and The Grudge Girl (Yeah, she’s Japanese, I know) team up to wipe out crime & corruption in NYC. Oh, it’s so on!

New York City is shown in a very harsh and unflattering light in this movie; reminiscent of the gritty crime dramas you use to see back in the 1970s such as Death Wish and others of that ilk. Aside from the main characters almost no one is portrayed in a positive or even semi redeeming light. The police force is in the pocket of both the Chinese and the Russian mob. Even the mayor is rotten SOB and ruthless tyrant, and no, I’m not talking about the kind that bans soft drinks larger than sixteen ounces here, either. Eventually, the Russian mob, being envious of the advantage that the brilliant young girl gives the Chinese Triad, decides to kidnap her for their own use. Along with the girl they will also get the combination (which is a long series of completely random numbers known only of course to the little girl) to a safe containing thirty million dollars inside of it. The kidnapping goes horribly wrong though, thankfully, and winds up with the little girl on the loose, and being simultaneously hunted down by the Russian Mafia, the Chinese Triads, and the New York City Donut Busters. And you thought your childhood was messed up. And wouldn’t you know it, in another amazing coincidence of cinematic happenstance, said little girl just happens to cross paths with the aforementioned ex cop/cage fighter Luke Wright. This all goes down just in time to prevent Luke from potentially committing suicide, and to finally motivate him to stop slumming around feeling sorry for himself, and to get back doing what he does best, which is going all Chuck Norris on some very nefarious mofoes left and right and giving them the savage beatings they so emphatically deserve.

A good “dumb” action movie is built in much the same simple way as a good professional wrestling match. The first part of the match/movie is usually spent allowing the bad guy to build up ‘heat’ as it is called on the good guy by beating him thoroughly into the ground until he is good and whipped. This continues until the point when you have just about lost all hope that your hero can mount a comeback, at which point, of course, he mounts said comeback and cleans house. Also like a wrestling match for movies like this, the simpler the better. There’s no need to complicate things with an overly thought out premise or unnecessary plot twists, (or in the wrestling match example needless flashy moves performed just for the sake of it or complicated false finishes). Leave that to films with grander ambitions than this, as they in no way belong here. People going into a movie like this should know what they are getting into from the start. And, provided that’s what they want to watch, a movie such as ‘Safe’ will deliver them a hell of a lot of fun and satisfaction for what it is.

Safe is an A+ example of a classic B movie at its best. There’s little time here wasted on unnecessary dialogue or complex character development, but there is just enough of both simple dialogue (including of course, great one liners) and simple character development to keep the story from going off the rails like a lesser movie might do by trying to cram either too much, or not enough into the leading character’s back stories to make us care about them. Indeed, we have two very sympathetic and straight forward characters here in Luke Wright and Mei. And they are opposed by some very corrupt and evil people on all sides in the form of the two competing criminal gangs, and a crooked police force on top of that. The odds are overwhelmingly stacked against them, and the stakes are life and death high (not to mention the thirty million). This sets just the right visceral setting and emotional tone for Jason Statham to get started whooping some whole sale ass all over the city, cracking necks, splitting skulls, and generally making life really, really unpleasant for any of the bad guys, whether they be cops or criminals ( or both), that he finds himself up against here in this movie.

Another good thing about this movie is its breakneck pace. It slows down just enough let you enjoy the action and chew the scenery, but not enough to let you see through the holes in its story. Pacing wise this is the best movie of this sort I’ve seen since the first ‘Taken’ movie with Liam Neeson, which I’d say ‘Safe’ is easily just as entertaining and action packed as that movie was. I remember thinking while watching Taken that it was strange to see someone making a Jason Statham movie without Jason Statham in it, although to be sure, Liam Neeson brings all the badass, and twice the acting talent. But for this movie’s purposes, Statham of course will do just fine. This is also a better movie, in my opinion, than either one of the Expendables movies that co-starred Statham with Sylvester Stallone and a slew of 1980s action all stars. This movie just flat out surprised me with how effective it was at what it wanted to be. This isn’t the kind of movie that is going to reinvent the wheel or make a big emotional or artistic statement, but it does the job it sets out to do with very precise and efficiently directed action throughout and characters that you can easily get behind pitted against villains you can also easily root against.

There are a few twists here plot wise at the end of the movie that I will not spoil, but nothing that earth shattering or movie altering. It basically just serves to tie the story together a bit tighter and to give Jason Statham an excuse (as if he needed one) and an opportunity to get the final upper hand here on the bad guys. The story is just clever enough, just humorous enough, and just dark enough to be just right. It’s rare to see a movie with such low ambition get so many things right. It’s an obvious and overused pun, but director Boaz Yakin and leading man Jason Statham definitely played it safe with ‘Safe’. But hey, if it ain’t broke, why fix it? If this if the kind of movie you’re looking for, you could do a hell of a lot worse. So anyway, if you’re looking for something a little more cinematically substantial and thought provoking, feel free to skip this one, but if you’re just in the mood to turn off your brain and let the bullets fly, this is the perfect popcorn flick for your afternoon entertainment. That’s all for this review. As always thanks for reading, and I’ll see you all again next time.

12 Rounds 2: Reloaded
Starring: Randy Orton, Brian Markinson, Tom Stevens, Cindy Busby
Director: Roel Reine
Writer: David Benullo
Studio: WWE Studios
Running Time: 94 minutes
Rated: R

* A copy of this Blu-ray was provided for review.

The latest WWE Studios film to star a WWE Superstar released last Tuesday directly to DVD. I typically find WWE films to be okay at best, but never “offensive.” They’re always the type of movie that is worth watching at least once if you can find it on one of the movie channels. This one is a little bit different in that it is actually very enjoyable, and honestly, it should have gone to theaters (certainly better than Dead Man Down and the previous 12 Rounds starring John Cena).

Before watching this movie I would have laughed at the idea of Randy Orton starring in a movie, because nothing about him in WWE screams that he’d be able to act well enough to star in a movie (and that’s the case for almost every WWE wrestler to star in a movie). Surprise though; Randy actually does a really good job as the star of the film. I was quite impressed. Yes, it’s a mindless action film and that naturally means no one is going to be harshly grading the acting like they would a serious drama, but nevertheless Orton was believable in his role (for the most part) and acted it quite well.

If you’ve seen the first 12 Rounds then you already have a basic outline of the plot. In this one, Randy Orton stars as an EMT named Nick Malloy. One night he’s walking with his wife Sarah (Cindy Busby) when the two witness a bad wreck caused by a drunk driver. Nick of course springs in to action and tries to save everyone involved. The drunk driver lives, and the driver of the other car also lives but that driver’s wife dies. One year later the crap hits the fan.

Nick gets sucked into a deadly game of 12 Rounds by a guy named Heller (Brian Markinson) in an attempt to save Sarah’s life. Heller has his eyes on other people as well, and they all factor into the different rounds, but besides Nick, Heller’s other main target is a drugged out rich kid named Tommy (Ted Stevens). Once Nick and Tommy are brought together, they stay together for just about the entirety of the film, which naturally allows Nick to a sort of comedic sidekick (though not really; makes sense if you watch the film).

Honestly though, the story isn’t what you’re going to watch the film for. It is nonsensical. Heller is a sympathetic villain, or at least he was to me. I kinda rooted for him (along with Nick and Sarah) in much the same fashion that I rooted for Gerard Butler in Law Abiding Citizen or even The Caller in Phonebooth. I say kinda because there is no getting around the fact that the dude is a psycho and Nick makes no sense being the man’s primary target in his game. Again, the story isn’t really important here, although it is better than the original 12 Rounds, mainly because it’s a little darker.

WWE’s wrestling product is geared towards a younger crowd and Randy is one of their more popular superstars. Knowing that, if you have a young child or sibling that is a Randy Orton fan, do realize that this movie is rated R and not for them. There is lots of violence, tons of swearing, and some somewhat brief nudity during a sex scene.

As far as action films go, this is one is quite solid. It probably is one of, if not the, best WWE film that actually stars one of their wrestlers. All of the actors did well, and I do have to give Randy Orton a ton of credit. He won’t win any awards for acting, but he did a pretty good job in a mindless action movie where the character really has no development. He certainly doesn’t have the on-screen presence or charisma as The Rock, but if WWE put him in another action movie I’d certainly be inclined to watch it.

I would like to have seen more from Cindy Busby. She’s a lovely and talented actress, so it’s a shame she has so little to do in this film. She delivers a fine performance during the few scenes she is in though.

A lot of wrestling fans tend to ignore these WWE films and wish the company would just focus on wrestling; I know because I’ve been that way with a lot of their releases (okay, most of them). But, I urge fans of action movies, wrestling fan or not, to give this one a watch. 12 Rounds 2: Reloaded is a good and thoroughly enjoyable 94 minutes.

The Blu-ray also contains a DVD version and a digital copy (iTunes and the ability to stream it using UltraViolet). As for bonus features, there’s not a lot here. There’s Randy Orton Reloaded, a look at the locations, a look at the action, and finally audio commentary with director Roel Reine and film editor Radu Ion. The Blu-ray itself has great picture quality and sound; didn’t watch the film on DVD.

You can purchase 12 Rounds 2: Reloaded Blu-ray from Amazon for $16.99.

Starring: Robert De Niro, Paul Dano, Olivia Thirlby, Julianne Moore, Dale Dickey, Lili Taylor
Director: Paul Weitz
Writer(s): Nick Flyn, Paul Weitz
Studio: Corduroy Films
Runtime: 102 minutes
Rated: R
Official Score: 2 stars

America has produced only three great writers as we are told in this movie’s opening narration voiced by Robert De Niro in the character of Jonathan Flynn, that being Mark Twain, J.D Salinger, and himself. He is, as a matter of indisputable fact, quite delusional. And it is this movie’s object to make him both eccentrically lovable and existentially loathable at the same time, a task it mostly succeeds at thanks in large parts to the acting talents of Robert De Niro and the natural good will you want to feel towards the character. This movie was based off of the real life story of the poet Nick Flynn, who originally told it in his autobiographical novel titled ‘Another Bullshit Night in Suck City’, a title so strong and engaging that it makes ‘Being Flynn’ sound all the more bland, watered down, and boring by comparison. Nick Flynn goes on a journey of rediscovery in this film, meeting his father for the first time in many, many years, and along with the audience, having to endure his manic, off the wall, and generally offensive behavior, which as said above, seems to be designed in this film to both make us admire him for his old codgerly zaniness, and shun him as an out of touch delusional loon, with ultimate goal being the redemption, or at least understanding of both Jonathon and Nick. So yeah, this is basically a guy’s equivalent of a lifetime movie of the week, but it’s definitely got its strong points aside from that, so let’s not just throw it under the bus just yet.

Jonathan Flynn is certainly no threat for father of the year. We learn through flashback scenes and dialogue in ‘Being Flynn’ that he abandoned his son Nick early on his childhood, leaving the full burden of raising him to his mother, Jody, played in flashback by Julianne Moore. Flynn Sr. loses contact with his family entirely, spending some time in prison, and other time just hustling out in the world as a grifter, something he has a natural talent for. Throughout this time he sends his son Nick letters, in which he continually claims to be almost completed with some kind of grand novel or another that will be his breakthrough that gives him the kind of recognition that he feels he deserves. Alas, that novel, if it does exist even, is never finished, and Nick does not hear from his dad for the better part of two decades, until one fateful day he gets a phone call from him. It’s not the sentimental breakthrough he’s been hoping for though. His father has simply lost his job and is about to be (deservedly, as he is a rude and horrible tenant) kicked out of his apartment, and so he, having no other options desperately throws himself on his son. Nick is just getting established himself though and cannot (or will not, in some cases) take in his elderly father, who winds up homeless, while Nick, eventually winds up working at a homeless shelter. That circumstance, of course, culminates with Nick finding himself in the weird position of working at a homeless shelter that his own father is a patient in.

I first heard of this movie when I took my wife to see The Vow (Her choice, not mine, before you move to take away my Man Card…) and saw it advertised in the pre-show trailers. She immediately turned to me and said that this looks like something I would be interested in, to which I immediately nodded and agreed. Being someone interested in writing, and someone hoping to become a writer by trade someday myself, movies of this sort can, if they are well enough produced, find a well paved shortcut straight to my jaded old literary loving heart. The premise as it what was put forth in the trailer did seem quite intriguing as well. I originally thought  this was going to be the tale of a young apprentice writer searching to find and reconnect with his father, who was a great and established writer himself, as well as mysterious and reclusive character. That, of course, is not exactly the way it all goes down in the movie as Jonathon is not a great established author in the vein of Faulkner and Hemingway, but just another of the countless crazies who believe themselves to be just that, and the trailer I saw, I suppose, was just echoing what he would have thought this story’s main premise would be. That discovery alone dampened my enjoyment of the movie somewhat, but, I thought the story of the kid and his father both being in the same homeless shelter was at times an interesting and thought provoking one as well though.

One of the problems I thought this movie had is that Nick Flynn, played here by Paul Dano, who is a fine actor in his own right, is completely overshadowed as a character by the powerhouse of a performance that Robert De Niro puts in as his father Jonathan.  Robert De Niro takes this obsessed delusional character and gives him a dignity and a legitimacy that he perhaps does not deserve. During the course of the movie we see him transform from a well dressed, although still down on his luck individual who can sit down in any diner in New York city and look like another respectable patron, to an alcohol ridden shell of himself, shivering on the street and barely clinging to life. Throughout the entire ordeal, Jonathan Flynn never loses his chutzpah though. Nick Flynn, has problems all his own, struggling to find his identity and make friends, as well as keeping his own addiction to cocaine at bay, so that it does not ruin the one relationship he finds in this movie that he desperately wants to work out, that being with the lovely Olivia Thirlby, who plays his love interest, Denise, in this film. Denise, has her own history with substance abuse in her family, which wrecked tragic results on her life, so if Nick is going to have any chance with her, he is going to have to find some way to overcome that very overpowering addiction.

In the end this movie winds up becoming a bland, disconnected mess, which is at once both too dark and not dark enough for its base subject material. I was never quite sure whether this was going to be a down and dirty, gritty portrayal of actual drug and alcohol addiction in the vein of Leaving Las Vegas and other strong films of that sort, which could have been powerful in its own right, with the added bit of a family drama thrown in to deepen the plot, or a standard ‘tween’ movie in the aforementioned Lifetime movie of the week sort of variety, with the all the other elements thrown in just for the hell of it. Sadly, I am here to report that it was very much the latter of those two things for the most part. For a movie that deals with homelessness, cocaine addiction, alcoholism, mental illness, and suicide, I never felt it went far enough in any of those areas, to explore their deepest and darkest depths, like the aforementioned Leaving Las Vegas dealt with alcoholism and loneliness, for example. With the possible exception of the homelessness subplot, all of those subjects were more or less just there to be there, and director Paul Weitz never really tries to truly make a meaningful statement about them, or to have those dark issues serve as anything but fancy window dressing on an otherwise all too thin and uninspired tale.

I know the writers were handcuffed a bit with this being based on a true story and all, but I still think a little more effort or attention placed in any of these departments could have gone a long way to making this movie become much more than it was. As it is, the payoffs to all the aforementioned storylines seem forced and unearned in the greater context of the story, which is a shame because the actors here all put in quite respectable, and in the case of De Niro, quite good performances. Now, for the ‘not dark enough’ comment, if this movie wanted to be more or less a dramatic comedy or something basically entertainment focused instead of (mainly anyway) diving into the sordid issues set forth in the story here in a dead serious and grim manner that could have also worked out well.  As I said, the Robert De Niro character is a hoot to watch at times, and watching him in the homeless shelter could have been a great asylum kind of movie in the ‘One Flew Over The Coo Coo’s Nest’ kind of way, but instead there’s nowhere near enough levity here for something like that to transpire. The overwhelming intensity of the drama here quite literally overwhelms the story and without a tight enough script to handle such a heavy emotional load, it basically turns it into pure Grade A pap of the all too precious variety.

You talkin’ to me?

This movie opens with a shot of Robert De Niro, as a Taxi Driver in New York City. Smoke billows up from the streets as he glides into the Taxi station. As a stand alone moment, it’s a nice homage to one of the greatest and most signature roles of his career and one of the all time classic pieces of great cinema in general. In this movie though it just served to remind me of a movie that wasn’t afraid of its gritty subject matter, and one that didn’t pull its punches, as this one most certainly does to its great detriment. Travis Bickle would have little time for much of the self indulgent lip flap that makes up a good chunk of this movie, and I too, found it more tiresome than anything else after a while. These characters were perhaps too self aware for their own good. It’s not so much that this is a bad movie, as it is just a bland one.

If you’re a big time fan of Robert De Niro, as you very well ought to be, it may be worth checking out for his performance alone, but even in the Herculean effort he provides here, it is still not enough to elevate this beyond what it is, which is basically Lifetime movie of the week fare. So basically, in some not so breaking news, Robert De Niro is still apparently good at this whole acting thing, but not good enough to save dreck such as this. Everyone else here seems as lost as in this shell of a story as I was, although they do the best that they can acting wise. By the time everything was wrapped up and finally coming together, I had already passed the point of caring. For a better recent movie that also saw Mr. De Niro playing a psychologically challenged individual with an estranged son storyline, go and see ‘Silver Linings Playbook’ or if you just want some classic De Niro, go and watch Taxi Driver. Both of those movies will provide you with a much fuller and more satisfying movie watching experience than ‘Being Flynn’ could ever dream of, although that is admittedly true of most other movies as well.

The Sony E3 conference tonight might as well have been a love letter to PlayStation fans and gamers who don’t like unnecessary restrictions placed on them, as Sony continued to show that they have learned from their mistakes. It was basically music to our ears after weeks of Microsoft laying it on thick with the BS and angering a ton of gamers in the process.

PS4 will hit store shelves this Holiday, and it’ll cost $399.

For those keeping score, that is $100 less than Xbox One… that machine with mandatory Kinect, horrible used game DRM, and that needs to connect to the Internet once every 24 hours for you to have the permission to play that game you bought but don’t own.

THREE HUNDRED NINETY-NINE US dollars.

Pre-order it now from Amazon, or your retailer of choice, and I suggest you hurry up because it’s going to go fast.

Sony detailed its policed for used games during their press conference today, and it’s really quite complicated.

So the good folks over at Sony created this helpful video to show how you can share your physical used game…

Yes, Sony struck pretty hard at Microsoft tonight. PS4 features no used game DRM; your physical copies work just as they always have and you’re free to sell, trade, lend, give, or borrow as much as you want.

Also, your single player games will work when you’re offline. Imagine that. The console never has to be connected to the Internet, ever. Again, imagine that.

PS4 hits store shelves this Holiday season for a very reasonable $399.

Microsoft announced the price and launch month of Xbox One today near the end of their price conference, and to it would be an understatement to say it’s a bit steep.

Xbox One will hit stores in November, and it’ll retail for $499. I wasn’t interest in the system since all their DRM and 24-hour check in stuff was revealed, but I definitely wouldn’t be in for that price anyway.

If you’re interested in the system though, you can pre-order it now from the retailer of your choice. I’d go with Amazon for the free shipping and no sales tax. If you pre-order it, you’ll get the “Day One” edition, which includes a limited edition controller, token code to unlock Day One achievement, premium packaging, and decal.

Yes, they’re giving you a code to unlock a Day One achievement.

That price is, again, FOUR HUNDRED NINETY-NINE US dollars. It’s also €499 and £429… making it super expensive in Europe/UK (like over $660).

Yes, it’s another Breaking Bad related post here today on Pulp Culture, as I am getting more and more hyped as August 11th and the premiere of the last eight episodes of the best television series of the past half decade or so (Sorry Mad Men, I like you too though, I swear.) gets closer and closer. So you can indeed expect more of the same as that luminous date approaches. I came upon this video while stumbling around on Youtube looking for, you guessed it, other Breaking Bad related videos to hold me over until that aforementioned start date. This is a great catch-me-up on the first four and a half seasons of the show. It’s a good half hour long so make sure you have time before you click the old play button, but it’s worth watching if you could use a little refresher on things that have went down in the last five years. Whoever edited this little deal together did a truly wonderful job (although I do think it is a *little* heavy on the dramatic background music, but I found that I was able to get past that…), so big kudos to them.

Now before I go on to commit a truly unpardonable sin by encouraging people to spoil themselves on this amazing show, I say here right now do NOT watch this if you haven’t seen the first four and a half seasons of the show already and would like to do so at some point, as it obviously, contains a good deal of spoilers that are central to the plot of Breaking Bad. If you have seen them, or at least most of them, and would like something to get you in the spirit of Heisenberg before Breaking Bad gets underway again, this is definitely the video for you. So with that said, happy watching.

And for those of you who watched all of that, here’s another great video, with late night host Conan O’Brien, who has been a long time fan and supporter of the show (who has had practically the entire cast on at some point or another on his TBS show) holding an hour long panel discussion with cast and crew members including Bryan Cranston, Dean Norris, Jonathon Banks, Anna Gun, show producer and head writer Vince Gilligan among many, many others answering questions from the Conan O’Brien and a town hall like audience set up. Conspicuous by his absence here though is Aaron Paul, who plays ‘Jesse Pinkman’ on the show. It would have been nice to have had his input here as he is kind of the co-lead on Breaking Bad alongside Bryan Cranston’s irreplaceable ‘Walter White’ character, but there’s more than enough here as it is without him to make it a very interesting and entertaining discussion panel nonetheless. That’s all for this shorter than average update. Hopefully everyone’s week is getting off to a decent enough start here. Thanks for reading, and I’ll catch ya all on the flipside.

Hello everyone and welcome to the return edition of Pulp Wrestling. As always I shall be your host for this column, Julius McPherson at your service. It’s been quite a while since I’ve done this, so I hope I remember where all the buttons on this newfangled typewriter are. With that said, let’s dive in to another palpitating pool of Pulp Wrestling. Our subject this time out is the top ten most intimidating men in pro wrestling history, or as titled the top ten most believable badasses. As said, it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these columns, so I felt a good old fashioned fun and light hearted list like this would be a good way to ease myself back into the mix. So with that said, here we go.

Top Ten Most Believable Badasses in Wrestling

First off let’s take a second to talk about some of the things this list is not. It is not a list of the legit toughest men ever, or the wrestlers I think would do the best in a shoot fight against every other wrestler in history in some hypothetical shoot match tournament featuring all the great grapplers from every era combined. Now to be sure, legit physical toughness, and the demonstrable ability to beat other men’s asses in real life are definitely a boost to getting on this list but it is by no means the be all end all, as at the end of the day, pro wrestling is still first and foremost, scripted entertainment. So that being said, I’m sure there are many real life tough guys that have had much said about them who will not make the list. Take Bad News Brown (Or Allen) for example. Every wrestling book or interview you read has him listed as one of the meanest, toughest SOBs of all time. Definitely not someone you would ever want to cross paths with in a dark alley, but from a character stand point (and I admit to only having been exposed to his WWE work for the most part so perhaps he fared better elsewhere) he never really brought that out to bare in the scripted world of pro-wrestling, where he was pretty much an opening match guy for most of what I can recall of my childhood memories of him, and never set the world on fire match quality wise either. Now, with that said, this list is about the guys, who regardless of their actual toughness outside the ring, or their fighting prowess in real life, were able to best project an aura of toughness and invincibility through their wrestling characters, and also used that vital intimidation factor in their matches to the best effect. The fact that many of them on the list are also real life badasses is not coincidental though, as those guys who both look menacing, and in fact, are menacing in real life are thus given that rare double boost which, normally, makes for a can’t miss kind of character.

I have one prejudice right from the start to get out in the open with you all. I have, as you will notice, made it a purpose to disqualify ( or at least eye with great suspicion and dislike) all of those characters right off the bat whose gimmicks were supernatural or other worldly such as Kane, and certain incarnations of his brother the Undertaker. Not that I have anything against these kinds of characters or their use in wrestling, but to me, they occupy a different category of wrestlers entirely and including them in a list like this is tantamount to if we were arguing about which comic book superheroes were the toughest in their respective universes and how they should be ranked and did not make exceptions for those certain characters who were given ‘God like powers’ by their creators such as omniscience, omnipresence etc as compared to those who just have one particular super power or another. This may not be a perfect example, as Kane for example has become ‘more human’ in his more recent incarnations, but also as he has done so, I think it can be safely said he has also become far less menacing than the original Big Red Monster who disposed of all who opposed him in a matter of seconds back in the day. I also must omit several old time wrestlers who may warrant mentioning, such as Harley Race or Dick the Bruiser etc… This is not done as an intentional snub, it is just that I am not qualified to speak on their era of wrestling as I was not around to witness it first hand, and since this is my own personal list, they will not appear on it. If this bothers you to a great degree, by all means, feel free to go and make your own damn list. Anyway, enough about what this list is and isn’t, it is now time to get down to the business of ranking the top ten most intimidating wrestlers of all time.

Now, before we get to the actual top ten here, let’s take a look at some of the runners up in this list. At first I was going to make this a top five as most of my other list columns have been in the past, but I had to expand to a top ten list due to the number of people that started coming to mind. I was toying with the idea for a while of making it a top twenty (with the added title of it being the top twenty badasses of the last twenty years), but, for the sake of length in what is already turning into a mini novella of a column, I decided to stick with ten, as George Carlin famously said “ten just sounds more important”… Here though is what would have been the top twenty had I decided to go that route.  Honorable mentions: Coming in at number twenty would have been Dan ‘The Beast’ Severn, with Kane at nineteen, followed by Mark Henry at eighteen, Scott ‘Flash Norton at seventeen, Fit Finlay at number sixteen, the homicidal, suicidal, genocidal Sabu at fifteen. The real life murdering bastard Chris Benoit at fourteen, Bam Bam Bigelow at thirteen, The Big Show at twelve (who would have made the top ten if not for all the silly comedy he has done in his career). Psycho Sid (who would have made the top ten if he had not happened to absolutely suck in the ring), and finally at number eleven, we had the wrestling machine Kurt Angle, who was neck and neck with the guy who wound up edging him out on the list, which is…

10. Ken Shamrock

We open this list with Ken Shamrock, a man who definitely proved himself to be one of the elite competitors in the early days of the UFC. During the first few UFC events, he was along with Royce Gracie one of the two most dominant men in the promotion. Looking back on his career now it is easy to forget just how over he was as a legit dangerous man, as his famous moniker ‘The World’s Most Dangerous Man (a title given to him by ABC news nonetheless) implies. Since Ken Shamrock there have been several ex MMA competitors to try their hand at the pretend world of pro wrestling with both good and bad results, but when Ken Shamrock first debuted on the scene in 1997 WWE, he had a completely different feel to him than anyone else on the roster. In the first match I remember seeing him in he won against Bart Gunn by submission literally in a manner of seconds. The message was clear, this guy was the real deal, and a threat to ANYONE on the roster. He represented what amounted to a changing of the guard in the way wrestling promoters and fans think about physical toughness. For years and years before this, wrestling promoters turned to the sport of football (even as recently as Wrestlemania 11 which featured Lawrence Taylor in the main event) to recruit potential wrestlers and also to get usage off the drawing power of guys whose careers were on the wane. Football players were seen as the toughest guys of that era, and so, they were brought in by pro wrestling promotions to bring their legitimacy to the product. Nowadays though, the UFC has taken that spot, as far as wrestling is concerned, as the place where fans look to see who the legitimate toughest men in the world are. Vince McMahon was not unaware of this either, even back in the mid 90s, which of course lead to the signing of guys such as Shamrock and his early UFC protégée, Dan ‘The Beast’ Severn.

Perhaps if he had come along either a year sooner or a year later, or if he had had a good mouthpiece to help get him over better, his career would have gone differently. Still though, he did main event a couple of pay per views, including one against Shawn Michaels for the WWE championship, and he was also the first man to hold the TNA world championship (when it was still under the umbrella of the NWA and using their belt)…. But those accolades notwithstanding, the majority of Ken Shamrock’s WWE career was spent in the wallowing away in the mid card, when he could, and by all means should have been booked as an unstoppable beast, that only the best of the best such as Bret Hart, and Stone Cold Steve Austin could have a chance of competing with. One thing that helps Shamrock’s placement on this list is the fact that, before he competed in the MMA he actually did train to be a professional wrestler which made his later transition back into wrestler all the more natural. And considering that, it is even more unforgivable to think the amount of potential that was squandered here in his pro wrestling career.  Now, as MMA evolved into its modern form and also as Ken aged, he became less of a premier athlete in that sport, suffering badly in losses against the likes of Tito Ortiz among others, so we have in Shamrock a man whose legacy is not what it should be in two different sports. But I am doing my small part to change that here by granting him the number ten spot on my list of pro-wrestling’s most intimidating competitor’s of all time.

09. Meng/Haku

My first memories of Tonga Fifita are from the late 80s and early 90s run he had with WWE, when was known simply as ‘Haku’. He was never really pushed all that much from what I recall, although he did have a decent tag team championship run where he was paired with Andre the Giant in a tag team known as ‘The Colossal Connection’ that forced him to pretty much do all of the work by himself, as Andre by that point, was almost completely immobile due to his size disorder and the collected years of abuse on his heavy frame. There was also a bit before this where he went by ‘King Haku’ after Harley Race, (another man who deserves mentioned as being on the legit toughest SOBs of all time, and who, had I seen more of his career, would surely have made this list.) left the WWE in the late 80s and abandoned the gimmick. The next place he popped up on my radar was in WCW where he was pushed fairly strongly at one point as the savage ‘Meng’. His finishing move, a death grip where he basically would apply pressure to the bottom of a guy’s throat with two of his fingers used to literally scare the living crap out of me every time I saw it. After his singles run petere’d he also had another tag team run, with fellow barbaric badass, The Barbarian, known collectively as ‘The Faces of Fear’. He would basically waste away for the most part at the bottom of the WCW roster for the remaining years of that company’s existence. He also had a short run in WWE in which he was paired up with Rikishi. The most vivid memory I have of this period of his career is the wild and crazy afro he used to sport around this time.

Now as said, with a few exceptions, Tonga, for most of his career was never given the push that a man of his considerable reputation might expect to enjoy. You can’t read a wrestling book or listen to a shoot interview without hearing at least one or more stories of the legendary toughness and badassedry of Mr.Fifita. No, seriously, I mean it. Go and try to find one. I think it’s unwritten law or something where people feel like they have to plug him or else he will show up at night and eat their soul or something. Even Bad News Allen defers to him as the unanimous toughest guy he ever met. He is alleged to have done everything from biting off noses, to gouging out eyeballs, to single handedly beating up an entire police force on his own. Hell, if even half the stuff written and said about Tonga is true this guy would make even Chuck Norris defecate himself in a real life scrap. Even though he was never booked consistently as a top guy anywhere, he still deserves a place on this list, if for no other reason than I don’t want word to get back to him that I snubbed him and thus ensure my own demise.

08. Scott Steiner

Scott Steiner gets a lot of flack on the internet wrestling scene, some of it deserved, some not, but I’ve always been a fan of his for the most part, although for different reason at different times throughout his career. I have also long felt that he is quite overlooked for his latter day singles run. Perhaps it is because his singles peak occurred during the dying days of WCW, and then his next decent run occurred during the Vince Russo era of TNA. Neither of those two situations were at all conducive to making a good wrestling career for sure. He was also never truly a complete package at any time in his career. In the early days of his career when he teamed with his brother Rick Steiner in the classic tag team of ‘The Steiner Brothers’ he was among the best in ring workers around back then, but, as far as personality went, aside from his boyish good looks, he didn’t really have much to offer. Flash forward to his heel turn in late 90s WCW where he had a new bleach blonde haircut, completely insane (and I mean literally, insane) promos, and a freakish muscled up look that made him look like a complete monster. Sadly though, whether due to his added bulk or just the apathy of the atmosphere of WCW at the time, his in ring work was nowhere near the level it used to be, or even to the level of being watchable. To be blunt, he was flat out boring. After that Steiner went on to have a forgettable run in WWE where he quickly got lost in the shuffle. His next high point though was in TNA, which despite the problems and headaches of that promotion at the time (and today) it was here that Steiner would go on to have what I would consider to be his best ever singles run.

His program with Samoa Joe in my opinion was the best feud that TNA had ever done up until that point, and the first match between them was a perfect example of how to book a badass on the rise verses one on the wane. Steiner’s in ring work also improved during this time as he (on special occasions) busted out moves, such as his classic Frankensteiner, that he hadn’t been using since his tag team days.  I contend right here and now, that if Scott Steiner had the look that he had (how he got it is another discussion entirely) in the late 80s NWA or mid 90s WCW he would be a much more well remembered figure than he currently is. Steiner is intimidating on a number of levels. He has a legit amateur background, and is notorious for being someone not to mess with backstage as many have found out first hand. In Bret Hart’s book there is a famous story of Scott being challenged to a shoot amateur wrestling match by none other than Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig. During the course of that match Scotty had Hennig trapped to where Curt could not escape, and he thus told him that if he did not get out that he would do things to Curt’s rectum that no heterosexual male wishes to have done to that region. Bret records in said book that he never saw anyone scramble so fast in his life, but alas, Curt still could not escape, but to the best of my knowledge, Scott was not good to his word about the former threat.

07. Samoa Joe

I’ve went back and forth on where to include Samoa Joe on this list. In my heart I wish for him to rank much higher than this, but in my head I just cannot allow it to be so. For starters the negatives against him are that his body is not exactly television friendly nor all that threatening looking and his once unbeatable aura has been ruined many times over in the psychotic blender that is TNA booking over the years. That’s all looking back from the vantage point of hindsight though. But to see Samoa Joe anywhere between 2002 and 2006 was to see something truly special and uniquely badass. The Samoan Submission Machine was absolutely my favorite wrestler from that period, beginning with his epic run with the ROH world title that lasted nearly two full years, and his series of five star matches with a young CM Punk, and continuing all the way to his unbeaten storyline in TNA, which is to date, the second best undefeated storyline I have ever seen done in professional wrestling, next only to Goldberg’s streak. That streak included many more four and five star matches including classic three way matches with Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles that stole the show at many a TNA pay per view back in the day. Then to top off you had Joe’s fantastic program with Kurt Angle which lead to his first TNA world title run, which in my mind represented the end of the golden era of Samoa Joe, the modern day badass.

Ever since then, well, let’s just say it’s been complicated. He’s been repackaged more times than I care to remember, turned heel and face so many times it’s impossible to follow (which was par for the course with TNA at the time) from week to week, joined the Main Event Mafia, took on a Tazz as a mentor, started crying and screaming a lot for no apparent reason, got an ugly tattoo on his face, and has pretty much proceeded to be a pudgy mid carder ever since, with a few flashes of his old self surfacing from time to time. Still though for the quality of his initial success and in the hopes that perhaps he can somehow find a way to recapture that, I include him on this list as an act of faith you could say. Joe is an absolutely stellar in ring competitor with a hard hitting style of offense and one of the coolest looking finishers you’ll ever see in the ‘Muscle Buster’, add to that the fact that he can also cut a very effective short and to the point style of promo when need be, and you have all the makings of the classic strong, silent killer. There’s still time for Joe to return to his roots of being an intimidating MMA styled monster that inspired chants of ‘Joe is gonna kill you’ at the beginning of all of his matches back in the day. Whether or not TNA can manage to salvage all the idiotic damage they’ve done to his career though, of course, remains to be seen.

06. Dr. Death: Steve Williams

When I think of the wrestling career of Dr. Death: Steve Williams, like so many others I could name, the first thing that comes to mind is this: lost potential. This guy may not have been the total package (I can’t recall him cutting any earth scorching promos or anything of that regard), but he was such a beast with a pure physical presence and a great in ring talent with a real amateur pedigree that it’s truly frustrating to see how hampered is career, at least in America, came to be by bad booking, and overall misuse. This was not the case in Japan where he was both a massive singles star and tag team star with his ‘Miracle Violence Connection’ with his partner Terry ‘Bam Bam’ Gordy. The series of matches he had with Kenta Kobashi are some of the most hard hitting and believable examples of ‘Strong Style’ pro wrestling out there, and the fact that both of those men where legit hosses in their own right, but could move with the same velocity, and ferocity, usually associated with light heavyweights made them twice as scary. I remember in one of the aforementioned matches with Kobashi seeing Williams execute a perfect handspring back elbow on the outside. Now, why a man who clocks in around 350 and who is built, literally, like a brick wall, would feel the need to do such a move when he could just as easily take your damn head off with a simple clothesline or shoulder tackle, I do not know, but it was very impressive nonetheless.

Sadly in America, as said, Dr. Death was never utilized to his full potential. My main memories of him in the latter half of the 1990s include his involvement in the awful and low brow angle that exploited Jim Ross’s real life battle with bells palsy, first with the real JR in WWE, and then with JR Impersonator ‘Oklahoma’ in WCW. His original fall in the 90s I think though can be traced back to his involvement in the disastrously stupid concept that WWE came up with called the Brawl for All, in which, in the middle of their fake wrestling show, someone thought it would be a good idea to stage an actual shoot tournament. Everyone thought that Dr. Death would breeze through this and the idea after was that he would then make an ideal challenger for then WWE champion Stone Cold Steve Austin, but all those plans came to not at the clubbersome fists of one Bart Gunn, who just as he said he would, knocked Steve Williams the hell out. Gunn himself was done no favors by winning this tournament either though, as he was fed to the human waterbed known as Butterbean at Wrestlemania 15, where he too, was promptly knocked unconscious. Williams, who sadly passed away from a battle with cancer in late 2009, will always be fondly remembered by me though as one of the true mobile giants of the ring. He just had the perfect build for the wrestling business. He was menacing, had a truly killer move-set, and on top of all those bells and whistles, the sum-bitch could actually work too. If his career had been handled better on this end of the Pacific, I have no doubt he would rank higher on this list, but as it is, he will have to settle for the number six spot on my list of favorite pro wrestling intimidators.

05. Big Evil Taker/MMA Taker

Despite placing in at the midway point on our list here, I almost opted not to include the Dead Man on this at all. He definitely has done a fair amount of stuff in his career that clashes with my above bit about not wanting to include any characters that have been given supernatural or otherworldly abilities, however, and I admit this may be a double standard, I am not inducting the Dead Man, or the Phenom here on this list at all. No, the character I am choosing to include here is Taker in what I consider to be his finest incarnation ever, that of Big Evil. This version of the Undertaker came close on the heels of the American Badass Undertaker that saw him rolling to the ring for every match on his custom built Harley Davidson and the invention of a new finisher, the Last Ride, a great variation of the power bomb that saw him lift his opponent’s about an extra foot off the ground before slamming them down to the mat. In this version of the Taker character we also saw a complete abandonment of all the spooky pyrotechnics and otherworldly gimmickry that had defined him up until that point, as well as the use of a new finisher with the Dragon Sleeper. This was not an undead Zombie coming to claim your soul, this was simply Mark Calloway, the 20 year in ring veteran who had earned the right to call that twenty by twenty foot squared circle his ‘yard’, and who could believably intimidate opponents with the simple exclamation that would “make you famous” if you dared tread in it…

Freed from the constraints of his undead character finally, Calloway cut some of the most effective promos of his career. There are still elements of Big Evil left in the current version of Taker that we see once or twice a year now when he rolls out for some big program, but, not surprisingly he has mostly reverted back to what brought him to the dance in the first place with the spooky undead Zombie guy who walks like Jason Voorhees and does the classic Michael Myers sit up to boot.. Also included here is what I like to call MMA Taker, who as JR and Cole like to point out, was one of the most gifted strikers in the history of the business. MMA Taker also brought with him a new submission finisher, with the Devil’s Triangle, which any MMA fan would immediately recognize as the Gogoplata. So again, while it is tempting to leave him out based on the supernatural stuff, I feel the strength of both the Big Evil Taker and the MMA Taker are sufficient enough to give him a good mid level ranking on this list of the most believable badasses in wrestling history. The Undertaker, while having a character that is definitely eons and light years away from anything that could be seen as being a plausible human being, has overcome this easily I feel, with great runs like his days as ‘Big Evil Taker’ where he had some of the best matches of his career with the Hardy Boys and Brock Lesnar, and ‘MMA Taker’ where he had equally classic matches with Kurt Angle, Edge, and Batista.

04. Goldberg

WCW did a lot of things wrong in the late 1990s, so much so that you could write an entire book on the subject. (Hell, Bryan Alvarez did just that in his great ‘Death of WCW’.) But one of the things they did right, almost in spite of themselves was booking Bill Goldberg into a mega star on par with Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin, or the Rock at the time. Eric Bischoff, who had formerly fired the aforementioned Steve Austin, telling him that a guy who wore black boots and black trunks to the ring would never draw a dime in this business anymore, perhaps realizing the error of his ways, set out to take a guy with black boots, black trunks, and a stripped down to the bare bones personality, and just get behind him and push him to the moon. They accomplished this by throwing him out on national television with no advertisement or fan fare. To most of the audience at home, Goldberg was just another ham and egger who was going to be destroyed by the trusty mid car hand, Hugh Morris. Except he didn’t lose. Not only did he not lose that match, but he also went on to win his next one hundred and seventy three matches in a row. But then, not being able to help their own stupidity, WCW had to finally louse up the only thing they had left at the time that might have actually saved their sorry company’s financial future in Bill Goldberg by jobbing him out to Kevin Nash, via an assist from both Scott Hall and the Disco Inferno at their biggest pay per view of the year in Starcade. Such an epic waste.

Speaking of epic wastes, Vince McMahon also acquired Goldberg’s services for a year in WWE, during which time he set out to prove that Goldberg was actually not a big star, by well, treating him like he was not a big star and making him wear goofy wigs, and giving him none of the protection booking wise he enjoyed in WCW.  And,  a bored Tycoon who would sabatoge a lucrative factory and kill hundreds of jobs just for his own personal amusement and a dollar bet, Vince McMahon thus “proved” that Bill Goldberg was just a fad. Way to go Vince. I will always remember the days of the streak fondly though. Along with the original N.W.O angle it was the best thing that WCW came up with at the time. Much credit must also be given to the many solid workers who busted their butts in all those countless squash matches making the rookie Goldberg look so incredibly menacing and unbeatable at the time. It’s just a shame that all that hard work was eventually squandered, but Goldberg still fairs better than most on this list, due to the simple fact that he was smart enough to get out of the business while the getting was good, and before the powers that be in WWE or TNA (which he has wisely avoided stepping foot in) further ruined his legacy, as one of the most legitimate intimidating badasses in pro wrestling history. Goldberg was also a throwback in that he came from the world of professional football as opposed to MMA, having played a few seasons in the NFL for the Atlanta Falcons, and one of his signature moves was a football like tackle that was coined ‘The Spear’, which was the perfect set up for his famous suplex into a body slam maneuver known as ‘The Jackhammer’.

03. Taz

Now we’re getting down to the good stuff. In the late 90s and early 2000s Taz was without a doubt my favorite discovery. He was, as Vince McMahon so aptly described in ‘The Rise and Fall of ECW’ DVD, a ‘sawed off monster’.  For those who only know him now as Tazz (with two Z’s), the portly and generally easy going color commentator that hosted Smackdown for years with Michael Cole, and is now at the side of Mike Tenay in TNA, it may be hard to imagine placing him this high on a list of epic intimidators. However, if you’d been around to see the self proclaimed “Angriest man on the planet” in his run in the original ECW, no questions would need to be asked. Taz brought a ‘big fight feel’ as Paul Heyman once said, to every single match he took part in. His character also fundamentally changed the way wrestlers use submissions in their matches. After Taz, no one said uncle anymore, they ‘tapped out’ (which formerly was a babyface’s primary way to build up crowd sympathy with him while locked in a submission maneuver..). That of course, like Taz’s character himself, was ripped straight out of MMA, as was his signature submission, or Tazzmission I should say, which was basically just a rear naked choke. Alongside that he also knew about a hundred different variations of the suplex, and was thus known as ‘The Human Suplex Machine’. His squash matches were so much fun to watch, as they basically just consisted of him dropping some poor bastard on his head for three or four minutes, clotheslining the crap out of him, and then promptly choking him out.

During his initial run in ECW Taz held every title there was to hold there, including the Tag Team, TV, and World Title. Heck, he even invented a title for himself once called the ‘FTW’ world championship. FTW stands for… (Ah, hell, I’m not going to tell you what it stands for… you’re just gonna have to Google it.) Like so many others on our list though, Taz’s career petered out in WWE. He was initially given a great introduction, with awesome cryptic video packages leading up to his arrival which, killer theme music, and a victory over Kurt Angle in his debut match, but then, since in WWE it was, and is, all about the land of the giants, he was squandered away in useless programs with the likes of Bull Buchanan and other mid carders. This waste, above all others, may be the single most infuriating one that I can remember as a wrestling fan, and it went a long way to putting out the spark I had for watching WWE back in the day. That combined with a neck injury he had sustained back in the original ECW forced him to cut his career short, but, thankfully for him, as mentioned, he went on to have a very good run as an announcer. Still though, when I think of Taz, it is indeed the variation of him with only one Z, who could single handedly obliterate opponents three times his size, and do it believably too I might add. For that, and for the fact that he is one of my favorite wrestlers ever, he gets the coveted number three spot on this list.

02. Vader

As a child growing up and loving the sport of professional wrestling there was no one that scared, and I mean legitimately scared, and terrified the holy hell out of me like WCW’s Big Van Vader. To me he was ten times as frightening as the cartoonish Undertaker that competed in WWE, both because he was so physically imposing, and just plain mean looking. From his entrance and the great big headpiece he used to wear, to the leather mask on his face, everything about him just drove the point home further; this is a man not to be messed with. There had been plenty of big scary men in wrestling both before and after Vader, but very few of them combined the sheer size, and the amazing athleticism that he possessed. Here was a guy who was billed at over 400 pounds, stood six foot four inches tall, and was literally built like a freakin brick wall. One of his most famous moves saw him just basically run at his opponents and just topple them with nothing but the brute force impact of his chest. Other analogies besides a brick wall that come in handy when describing Vader would be a modern tank, that combines heavy duty firepower with startling speed, to basically annihilate anything unlucky enough to be in its path. It can’t be stressed enough how amazing the agility of Vader was. Aside from his hard hitting moves such as the powerbomb, Vader splash, and his incredibly stiff punches, he could also do an incredible top rope moonsault, that looked like the most devastating move in the history of earth. It’s basically like having that aforementioned tank thrown fifty feet in the air and then having it crashing down on top of you.

Vader had a great run in the original WCW, beating Sting for the world title, and having great programs with the likes of Ric Flair, Cactus Jack, Ron Simmons, and many others. His downfall, career wise though started at the hands of a man named Hulk Hogan, who, upon arriving in WCW made it his first order of business to no sell Vader’s signature offense, just as he no sold an entire decade’s worth of great performers moves in the WWE in the 80s and early 90s. After this Vader had a fairly decent run in WWE where they for a while anyway, pushed him as an unstoppable monster, and in one of the most frightening angles I can recall from my childhood, had him do the Vader splash to then WWF storyline president Gorilla Monsoon. Vader was scheduled to have a brief run with the WWE title in his great feud with Shawn Michaels, but HBK complained that the Mastadon was being overly stiff with him, and so we the fans were subjected instead to a title reign by Psycho Sid. Thanks a lot, Shawn. Aside from being dominant for most of his American career, Vader is also an established legend in Japan as well where he has held both the All Japan and New Japan heavyweight championships on several occasions. All in all, he is and was one of the most epic badasses of all time, and it is my pleasure to include him in the number two spot on this list.

01. Brock Lesnar

Even if this list was about who the legit toughest guy and best fighter in the history of the sport of wrestling was, the number one spot on it would remain unchanged. The gap between Brock Lesnar and everyone else on this list is a mile wide. What makes Brock Lesnar  intimidating? The easier and shorter list would be, what doesn’t make him intimidating? Here’s a guy who lives way out in the woods, has a body like Zeus, (Not Tony Lister, but the actual greek god) and who seemingly does nothing but eat raw meat and exercise, presumably by tearing up big redwoods with his bare hands all day and swinging them like sledgehammers. In an earlier age a guy like Brock Lesnar would have been a great war chief, but in today’s world he is simply put, the most impressive looking and dominant athlete that professional wrestling has ever produced. You want amateur credentials? He is a two time NCAA division one champion, and had one of the more impressive college careers of all time. He parlayed this into an unbelievable rookie year in the WWE in which he destroyed the likes of Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, and The Rock before becoming the youngest WWE champion in history. Tiring of the traveling schedule of the WWE meat grinder, Brock simply left the world of wrestling completely behind him. He went on to take up the challenge of MMA, where again, he completely dominated, and in only his third fight in the UFC defeated Randy Couture to become the UFC heavyweight champion. His MMA career was cut short due to a life threatening bout of diverticulitis, which left him unable to compete at a top level anymore, but even with that against him he still managed to get a submission victory over the MMA monster Shane Carwin. If he had retired after that fight, and not had to suffer the embarrassing losses at the hands of Cain Velasquez and Alistar Overeem, his legacy would have been perfect. As it is now, it’s still pretty damn impressive though.

Brock now, thanks to his success in MMA, is in the position to do just about whatever the hell he wants. He has a contract with WWE that lets him wrestle only the few selected dates a year that he wants to, and for an amount of money that would be rivaled only by the likes of Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson.  Like Vader before him on this list, Brock combines overwhelming size and dominance with a level of athleticism and agility that you would normally find only in the cruiserweight division of wrestling. What other guy his size can do such a perfect shooting star press? (A move he wisely has not pulled out of his hat in quite some time.) Right now Brock Lesnar, along with CM Punk, and the Shield is one of the best reasons to tune into Monday Night Raw. When you hear that unmistakable music ‘Here Comes the Pain’ you just know you’re about to see something that will be the equivalent in violence of a Mack Truck slamming into about twenty or thirty cars on the interstate. Brock doesn’t just bring legitimacy with him, he is the legitimacy. Compared to Brock Lesnar, Ryback looks like a harmless kitten with a weird speech impediment. From the first moment I saw him, I knew this was a guy who was going to be something special, but I had no idea just how special he was going to become, and so it is with great honor and respect that I proclaim ‘The Beast Incarnate’ Brock Lesnar, as the single most intimidating man in the history of pro wrestling.

Well, that’s going to do it for this edition of Pulp Wrestling. It felt good to get back to writing about the crazy world of professional wrestling again, and I hope that you enjoyed reading this at least half as much as I enjoyed writing it. If so, please leave some feedback here, good or bad, it’s all appreciated and greatly encouraged. Was there anyone you felt I ranked too high or too low on the list, or someone you felt got unduly snubbed? If so, let me know either by emailing me at Jules@Vortexeffect.net, or by leaving a comment here below.  So now I simply say thank you to each and every person who is reading this right now, and I will see you again very soon, with a new edition of Pulp Wrestling. Be good to each other.