Chazz and Rex are testing Chris Moore
CHAZZ: Let me ask you a question. Which side did you take in the big Van Halen / David Lee Roth split?
MOORE: Uh…what do you mean? (Chris Moore fidgets nervously.)
MILO: What kind of question is that?
CHAZZ: Which way did you go, man? Roth or Halen?
MOORE: Van Halen?
IAN: He’s a cop.
(Chazz tosses Chris Moore’s wallet to the ground.)
CHAZZ: Later, bacon.
REX: Oink oink!
MOORE: Come on, come on! That’s strictly a judgment call, those guys sold a lot of records after Dave left the group. Give me another one.
(They confer for a second.)
CHAZZ: Okay, who’d win in a wrestling match, Lemmy or God?
MOORE: Lemmy-No… God!
REX: Wrong, dick-head, it was a trick Question. Lemmy is God.
MOORE: Chazz, you got it all wrong…
CHAZZ: (loses his cool) Get the fuck out of here, cop!
For literally the last six decades of human existence there have been questions which have shaken this nation to the very core of it’s foundation. Among these are issues such as racial equality, global terrorism, Janet Jackson’s nipples and first and foremost… How the hell do you pluralize ‘The Lone Rangers’? And here in this movie finally, there is an answer to that final question.
In Airheads Chazz Darvey and his buddies Pip and Rex (who are in a struggling rock band) have finally decided to do something about their agreed upon destiny of becoming Rock N’ Roll super icons. After watching several bands whom they deem to be less talented than they go on to to bigger and better things, they decide that alas, there is only one final option left for them. When first we meet our hero Chazz he is attempting to slip his demo to a sleazy record executive who abides on the top level of a very upscale building.
For his efforts Chazz gets thrown out of the building by security and is told never to return. When he returns home expecting perhaps a trickle of understanding and warmth from his very porkable girlfriend he finds instead more of the same treatment. Such is the life for a struggling musician in the early 90’s. So what is left for them after this parade of embarrassment? Will they give up the rock star lifestyle and simply clean pools for a living? Hardly. They decide that they must invade their local Rock N’ Roll Radio station and hold everyone in it hostage at gun point (with water pistols) until they agree to play their demo and expose them to the rest of the country. Make sense? Of course it does. Does it work? Well if you haven’t seen the movie I won’t give too much away, but rest assured this is not a movie that rests on its premise or its morals .(not that it has any of the latter that is)
I think of it in a sense as ‘Dog Day Afternoon’ meets ‘Spinal Tap’ with hilarious results.
And rest assured this movie has an absolutely amazing comedic cast that includes the likes of a very young Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, Brendon Fraser, Steve Buscemi (my favorite character actor of all time) and even former WCW world champion David Arquette. And they all deliver on their lines tremendously here. As you can tell everyone associated with this movie was having one hell of a good time making it. But it’s not just them though, as their fun translates well into the audience too. There are quite a few laugh out loud moments and even a few classic gross out gags such as.. Adam Sandler ‘oinking’ on a couch, Chris Farley ripping a nipple ring off an unruly pedestrian, and tons of other moments too classic to ignore.
This movie captures the true rock n’ roll spirit that ‘School Of Rock’ tried to represent a few years ago. The difference being here that the humor in Airheads escapes the grade-school level and is not afraid to be very adult (if still very immature) And at the end of the day it even has a message, as our heros refuse to bow down to a system that requires lip singing and other unholy abominations to the almighty Lemmy. Praise be to them! And to this movie! So what’s the verdict? If you’re looking for a solid way to waste a Saturday afternoon that would be otherwise spent watching an MTV that is completely devoid of anything even remotely musically relevant, then just pop this little diddy into your VCR and prepare to be held hostage by the LONE RANGERS! Yeah, I guess you can pluralize that after all.