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Quick Daily Review #6: Blended (2014)

Blended-main-review

Blended (2014)

Director: Frank Coraci

You may not realize it by what I am about to write, but I really like both Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. That said, I am going to allow Roger Ebert to express my opinion of ‘Blended’ by quoting his thoughts on the 1994 movie North….

“I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.” – Roger Ebert

I would have to go back a while to find a movie I disliked more than “Blended”. This movie is crude, cloying, and altogether phony in every possible way. It is like a mash up of all of the worst parts of the Brady Bunch movie and Sex and the City 2. I mention the equally awful latter film because is set in an exotic foreign locale (Abu Dabi) while this film takes place mainly in Africa. Sandler and Barrymore both wind up in Africa on surprise vacations at the same time with their families. They are both single parents, who years earlier had been on an awkward blind date with each other, which they now feel like forcing the equivalent of upon the audience. Sandler’s character is raising a group of young girls into Tom Boys while Barrymore is raising her sons to be pampered sissies. Together they will both learn the magic of love, family, and balance, by learning valuable life lessons while on this once in a lifetime excursion.

Did I mention this film is racist? Well it is. All of the African characters are either “magical negroes” of the classic Hollywood variety or just vapidly stupid. Speaking of stupid and vapid, Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore here are the most unlikable couple in movie history. I did not care about them, their families, or this insipid trip. Every punchline in this movie is so telegraphed and obvious (and low brow) that the humor has been more than squeezed out by the time it made it to the screen. And the tender moments are so forced and arbitrary that they might as well hold up a flashing sign that reads “you are supposed to feel sad here…” Well, I did feel sad, but not at anything to do with the plot, but just overwhelmingly sad that I could not unsee this horrible waste of all talents involved.

0stars

Daily Inquiry: What is the best/worst Adam Sandler movie you have ever seen?

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About William McPherson (382 Articles)
Professional freelance writer, who also writes blogs, reviews, and assorted nonsense at www.vortexeffect.net

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